MODERN (IT) LOVE...

This one is a must read.....

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0
to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down
in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower, gifts and
jewellery applications that had
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed
many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
but installed undesirable programs such
as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World
Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs
and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging
5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

***************************************

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to
install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the
applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers
3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik
6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program
that will create SnoringLoudly.wav
files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-
in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not
supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider additional software
to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0
and Tongkat Ali 6.9.



Good Luck,
IT support


HAHAHAHA...HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY TODAY.

The Donkey

Instead of just keeping fwd mails in my inbox and then fwd them out again, the chances of ppl reading fwd mails are low. Thus i ...... read on...

THE DONKEY

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried
piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be
covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all
grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to
veryone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He
was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and
take a step up.


As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the
animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of
the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to
getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells
just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.


Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

> >NOW --------



The donkey later came back, and bit the shit out of the farmer who had
tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer
eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes
back to bite you.


You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to
someone else to spread the fun. I know what I did!!